Hey Kennedie. It is nice to see someone else that also decided to do a portfolio for their project instead of a story. I think that it is a great option. I just got done reading your first favorite story you have made and honestly I was really happy that one of your favorite stories was a remastered version of a Jataka story because I love them. To me they are kind of like a India's version of an Aesop Fable, which i really love to ready. Your story about the rabbit was a nice way to modernize the story I thought. The way you placed it in todays time and also had the setting as a high school was very clever. I also liked that you used the same characters mainly, keeping the rabbit a rabbit that is and such. You did a good job of pairing the animal with what they would be known for. Rabbit for mischief and Deer for a principal. To me they just seem to fit with the character portrayal. In all I wouldn't change to much of it. I could get what you were trying to tell me and it flowed nicely. Good job!
Hi Kennedie! This week, we got to choose which portfolios or story books to read, and I remembered how much I enjoyed your previous stories, so I decided to read yours! I am doing a portfolio as well, so I like to see how other people are interpreting this assignment. I decided to read your story "Dearest Lanka" because a lot of portfolios had only elaborated on the original epics instead of the Ramayana or Mahabharata. I like that you chose to write this story as a letter - it was very creative! Also, this was a great way to write the story from another point of view. This is my favorite style of writing. To strengthen this story, I think that you could add dialogue that Hanuman is recollecting. This would liven the story. Along with that, it would add a more exciting tone to your story. I think it would be a great way to elaborate on this new point of view.
Nice to meet you Kennedie! I too am doing a portfolio and it is nice to see how others are choosing to compose their own portfolios. I chose to read the "Dearest Lanka" Story. The way you chose to portray the story through the eyes of Hanuman was incredible. I especially loved how you so perfectly captured his essence. How he likes to think he is humble, but in reality he is slightly pretentious, borderline narcissist. Although he did go to save Sita, he could have been doing this simply to show off how string he was. I also have to point out how hilarious your picture caption was: "Picture of me Being Strong While Being Tortured". This made me laugh to no end. You seem to have put a lot of effort and thought into your story and it truly showed while I was reading it. Thank you for the excellent read.
Hi Kennedie! First off, I love that you've included little blurbs for your stories on your homepage. It helps readers to know what they're getting into and spruces up the homepage as well. I enjoyed the modernization of your first story. Unfortunately I think this sort of thing does happen sometimes. There were a lot of characters involved and sometimes I felt a little confused about who was who. Your second story was very creative. Having Hanuman write a letter to the people of Lanka was a unique idea I've never tried. I liked how sassy and cocky he was about everything. Although, he didn't really seem all that remorseful. His "better than you" attitude was very much in your face. I wish that you had made him focus a little more on a serious defense with subtle digs at the people. I did find it very humorous though, so I understand if you choose to leave it the way it is. Nice job with your project so far!
Your portfolio looks so clean. Great style choices, and really easy to navigate.
I really enjoyed the retelling of The Foolish, Timid Rabbit! You created some really strong and tangible characters, and the setting choice was perfect for this kind of story. I also thought that the placement and choice of each image was just right and added quite a bit to the setting. The only real thing I would possibly change would be to add a bit of dialogue, especially in the part where Lion overhears Rabbit bragging about the fabricated incident. I'm imagining snippets of conversation peppered with "brah" and "dude," but that's just because I don't like Rabbit and that's how I picture him talking.
I really enjoyed the captioning of Dearest Lanka's image. That was kind of adorable. And your portrayal of Hanuman is delightful: equal parts care and mischief.
Hi Kennedie! You probably don't recognize me, but I am from the mythology and folklore class.
I really enjoyed reading your the two stories you have in your portfolio. For starters, I liked the modern twist you put on the Foolish, Timid Rabbit! It was easy to read and understand. I also liked that you kept the animal names as the characters in the modern twist to the original story. The images that you placed within your story also helped in the flow of it. While I do not see much change needing to occur in this story, but if you could add one thing, I would suggest some dialogue. Maybe you could include Rabbit trying to defend himself even after they caught him red handed, or somewhere else in your story.
I also liked your story about Lanka. Your approach to make it a letter was such a great idea, as well as the structured informal writing that you used.
Your two stories that you have are really great, keep up the good work!
Hey Kennedie, that doggo looks like he/she is having a fun time. I really enjoyed reading your stories and I really liked the story about the rabbit. I think it's definitely one of the funnest stories to read and tell because I myself feel like the rabbit where I can jump to conclusions at times without obtaining full information. The images seem like they fit really well with the story and they made it interesting to read as well.
I am from Mythology and Folklore! I really enjoyed reading your portfolio and the two stories you have so far. Your story The Selfish Brazened Rabbit had a really nice modern twist to it and it was very easy to read! your characters were very strong and your use of descriptiveness was great! I really liked how you used pictures to break up the text. I agree with a few other comments that adding a little dialogue would add a whole new level to the story! Other than that, it's great!
I also really liked your story about Lanka. It was very humorous and again, I liked the modern twist you put on it. Your picture to break up the text was very nice again too!
Hey Kennedie! I really liked reading over your portfolio! Your website is clean, nice, and easy to navigate. This was a little different for me because most of the sites I am reading are storybooks, not portfolios. So it was a good change! Your story, The Selfish Brazen Rabbit was really interesting. I loved how you transformed the old tale into a high school experience story. The story flowed well and kept me reading until the end. I definitely agree with the others that adding dialogue would liven up the story and a little argument between Rabbit and Jaguar would add to the conflict between them. Your Hanuman story was really great too! You portrayed him to be chill and easygoing, and also a humble because he came forward and apologized in a letter form, which was unique! Good luck with the rest of your stories and I look forward to reading more of them soon!
Kennedie, I enjoyed dreading your portfolio. It was laid out in a way that made for easy navigation. The titles of your stories are very eye grabbing, and made me want to click on them. The Selfish Brazen Rabbit was a fun story to read. It was very relate able putting the rabbit in a school setting. This helped with picturing the setting as well because most people remember exactly what their high school looked like. A very creative way to help this story reach everyone.
Hello Kennedie, you have a great portfolio so far. I like how you included a link as well as a brief description of your stories on the homepage. This was a nice touch and made your site easy to navigate. I thought that both of your stories were really good. My favorite was your first story "The selfish Brazen Rabbit. This was also one of my favorite source materials to read as well. I thought that telling the story in a high school setting with a kid telling rumors was really creative. It is always interesting to see the many ways people can take stories. I was also impressed with how you were also able to keep the original message of the story intact.It was also really well written. Overall I was really impressed with how your project is coming along and am looking forward to how the finished project turns out.
Hi Kennedie! You have a great website. I like explain each story on your homepage and then elaborate them in your author's notes for each story. Your first story really caught my attention because of the picture of the crashed car. I skimmed through a bit and thought it was funny when I read the part where the rabbit crashed it so I decided to read the whole thing. It was ironic how the lion was quiet and timid since they're known to be loud and fierce.The rabbit sounds like such a jerk! I'm glad he finally got in trouble.
I really like how you were able to retell the original story. It was kind of relatable since it was in a school setting. I was glad that the principal couldn't protect the Rabbit anymore. Was he protecting the rabbit though? I know the story talked about the teachers favoring. Either way, this was a good story and I really enjoyed reading it! I look forward to reading the rest of your portfolio!
Hello Kennedie! I want to start off by saying that your website looks great. It is very easy to navigate and everything flows really nicely and that makes reading your stories that much more enjoyable. The Foolish, Timid Rabbit was one of the first stories that I read and rewrote so I was intrigued by your take on the story (for the record, I like yours better than mine). I like that you were able to take the story and retell it in a setting that was a little bit more relatable for everyone in the class. Plus, everyone has had a run in with someone like this in high school. I also like that you decided to make the rabbit character the bad guy because that was what he seemed to be in the original story.
Hey there Kennedie! I just got done reading over your project and looking at the layout of your page and really like the way it flows. It is really easy to use and the way the pages work from one to another is nicely done. I was just about to do a story over the Foolish Timid Rabbit as well and was really glad I got to read yours! It was a super fun read and had me giggling a little bit throughout the story. I still love how you are able to incorporate a high school experience into your story. It makes it so its not quite so old timey if you will. I would keep up that kind of writing if I was you. It seems like it works well for you and it is easy to write because we are pretty savvy with how high school works, Right?
Hey Kennedie! I just finished up looking at your project and it is coming together nicely! I really like the design you have and how easy the site is to navigate. I also like how you have a description of each story. I think that I may want to incorporate that element into my portfolio as well.
I really like all of your stories especially "The Selfish, Brazen Rabbit". I like how you made it take place in a highschool and was overall impressed with the writing of your story. The only suggestion I have is to maybe add some background color and maybe some dialogue into your first two stories. I think dialogue is very powerful and can take a story to the next level and it helps bring the reader closer to the story. Overall, your project looks great and I am looking forward to coming back seeing the finished project! Keep up the good work!
FEEDBACK COMMENTS Hey Kennedie! I really like the design and layout of your website. I can clearly get a feel for the theme of your portfolio just by looking at your image selections and the titles of your different stories. I feel like you have done a good job at being cohesive with your stories so that as a whole your portfolio’s theme is clear. I really enjoyed reading all three of your stories. I really enjoyed reading “The Selfish, Brazen Rabbit.” I thought your story flowed really well, however I feel like if you incorporated some dialogue between your characters, it would give your story more dimensions and make it more interactive for the reader. Also, the dog on your comment wall is soo cute! Overall, I think you have done a great job so far on your portfolio and I can’t wait to see what type of story you add next!
Hi Kennedie, I like how you set up your portfolio. It was easy to access. It also was a very simple and clean site. I really like how you put it together. I also thoroughly enjoyed your stories. I read all three and each one caught my eye in a different way. I liked the first one because I also wrote about it because I enjoyed this story. I like how you made it so relatable. We all know of that kid that was in our high school. I also enjoyed the second story because it was cute. I like how spunky you made the monkey. I related to the third story because my fiance loves archery and it reminded me of him as a kid. I thought you did a great job on your portfolio. I can't wait to read your last story. Thank you and have a good rest of the semester.
In Eager Ekalayva, the addition here since my last visit, you have supplied a much more cheerful ending than I remembered from our reading, and I am grateful. I was surprised that Drona became the amputee-er, but this does give Ekalayva a strong motivation to train up even harder, and gives the reader an even ickier antagonist.
I think the layout of the story is great. You have a good strong introduction and a satisfying ending. I would love to hear more of Ekalayva's thoughts though, especially near the end, as I was very curious to know what his thoughts were in the original story regarding his plight. Perhaps he could pass a message, moral, or ideal onto his tribe along with the distinctive bow-handling?
Also, and this is minor, but I would LOVE to see a picture of the Bhil Kingdom archers.
Thanks for a great portfolio and read! Happy (almost) summer break!
Hi Kennedie, Your portfolio is looking awesome! You have really showed your talent as a writer. I really enjoyed your first story, "The Selfish, Brazen Rabbit." You made the story really different but still used it to teach a valuable lesson. I love how clever Lion was. She was kind and wanted to get to the truth of the situation. Have you considered maybe changing the names from animals to actual people names? I think this would add even more realism to your story without losing your connection to the original story. The second story, "Dearest Lanka," was so entertaining. I love how sassy Hanuman was in this story. It's an angle I hadn't thought of before. Of course Lanka would be a little annoyed that their town was annoyed, and sweet snarky Hanuman would give them a great reason why. It would be really funny to see if Lanka ever responds. Great work on all three of your stories!
Hey, Kennedie, I really liked that you chose to do a portfolio rather than a storybook. The storybooks are super fun and interesting but a portfolio is a nice change of pace because you get some variety from the different stories. I really enjoyed all of the stories in your portfolio. I especially enjoyed "Dearest Lanka." Your characterization of Hanuman was excellent. I was also very clever to write the story in the form of a letter to the people of Lanka. As far as feedback and suggestions go, I don't really have much because your stories are so well thought out. However, one thing I noticed is the absence of much dialogue. "Dearest Lanka" wouldn't benefit from this much since it is in letter form but the other stories could benefit from some back and forth from the characters. You do have some dialogue in "The Greatest Archer" that works really well and it would be great if you could add the same kind of thing to your other stories. Anyway, well done!
Hi there, Kennedie! Let me just say that I was in love with your page when I saw your story photo for "Taking Candy From A Baby." Such great memories tied to that little cartoon baby! As I went on to read your story, I was absolutely pumped to see that you stuck with the theme. I also love all of the dialogue you included in your story. I feel as though this makes your story easy to read and allows your reader to get a better understanding for your characters. I think you did a great job of explaining why you used the Rugrats for your story in your authors note. It was the perfect place to explain your reasoning and a little bit of your thought process behind it in order to avoid confusion. I am so glad that I got around to reading your stories this semester. Thank you so, so much for sharing!
Interesting take on “The Foolish Timid Rabbit”. It had almost a Veronica Mars feel to it haha. I’d already enjoyed the story but the author’s note made a big difference in how I interpreted it. I like your reasons for changing it.
“Dearest Lanka” was pretty cute. It made me chuckle, especially the “no one specifically told me I wasn’t allowed to be a spy” part haha
I wished you had explained what a Bhil was in the third story. It was a bit confusing! Again here your reasons for changing the story make a lot of sense so I’m glad you’ve included that in your author’s note. I LOVE that you decided to use the Rugrats for your last story rewrite harsh very entertaining. I knew almost immediately what Jataka Tale you were inspired by. Well done!
(Arlo rocking a bun, personal photo) Hello! My name is Kennedie Milligan and I am a senior at the University of Oklahoma. I am a Communication major and a Women and Gender Studies minor. I am also pre-nursing. These three things may seem like a random grouping, but I have a lot of interests and am slightly indecisive, so this is what I have come up with. I was born in Okmulgee, Oklahoma, but I went from 3 rd grade to high school in Broken Arrow and that is where my parents still live today. I have 3 brothers, and from my older brother I have 3 nieces. My entire family is pretty much in Oklahoma and has been my entire life. There is not a lot I am sure of in life, but I am sure that I need out of this state. I am graduating (hopefully) in December and then I am (even more hopefully) going to nursing school. I want to go to a accelerated program for my BSN out of state because I am afraid if I don’t leave now then I will never get out. I just decided to do nursing last Au...
Once upon a time, there was a legend of a great tree in the middle of the forest. Only those with a true heart could find it. The tree was the biggest and oldest tree in all the land. The tree was said to have magical powers, which controlled the weather. In this land, there was also a palace where 4 young princes lived. They had heard of the tree and wanted to find out for themselves what magic the tree held. When the oldest prince was 12, he was allowed to go on his journey to search for the tree. He left for a week and when he returned he told stories of the great tree but was afraid that it was dead because it had no leaves. The second to oldest prince knew this could not be true because the great tree had been alive forever so when he turned 12 the next year, he too was permitted to go find the tree. It took him almost a week to find it as well, but he returned with stories of its greatness and beauty. The tree he saw had blooming flowers all over it. Now the younger two prince...
Hey Kennedie. It is nice to see someone else that also decided to do a portfolio for their project instead of a story. I think that it is a great option. I just got done reading your first favorite story you have made and honestly I was really happy that one of your favorite stories was a remastered version of a Jataka story because I love them. To me they are kind of like a India's version of an Aesop Fable, which i really love to ready. Your story about the rabbit was a nice way to modernize the story I thought. The way you placed it in todays time and also had the setting as a high school was very clever. I also liked that you used the same characters mainly, keeping the rabbit a rabbit that is and such. You did a good job of pairing the animal with what they would be known for. Rabbit for mischief and Deer for a principal. To me they just seem to fit with the character portrayal. In all I wouldn't change to much of it. I could get what you were trying to tell me and it flowed nicely. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Kennedie! This week, we got to choose which portfolios or story books to read, and I remembered how much I enjoyed your previous stories, so I decided to read yours! I am doing a portfolio as well, so I like to see how other people are interpreting this assignment. I decided to read your story "Dearest Lanka" because a lot of portfolios had only elaborated on the original epics instead of the Ramayana or Mahabharata. I like that you chose to write this story as a letter - it was very creative! Also, this was a great way to write the story from another point of view. This is my favorite style of writing. To strengthen this story, I think that you could add dialogue that Hanuman is recollecting. This would liven the story. Along with that, it would add a more exciting tone to your story. I think it would be a great way to elaborate on this new point of view.
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you Kennedie!
ReplyDeleteI too am doing a portfolio and it is nice to see how others are choosing to compose their own portfolios. I chose to read the "Dearest Lanka" Story. The way you chose to portray the story through the eyes of Hanuman was incredible. I especially loved how you so perfectly captured his essence. How he likes to think he is humble, but in reality he is slightly pretentious, borderline narcissist. Although he did go to save Sita, he could have been doing this simply to show off how string he was. I also have to point out how hilarious your picture caption was: "Picture of me Being Strong While Being Tortured". This made me laugh to no end. You seem to have put a lot of effort and thought into your story and it truly showed while I was reading it. Thank you for the excellent read.
Hi Kennedie! First off, I love that you've included little blurbs for your stories on your homepage. It helps readers to know what they're getting into and spruces up the homepage as well. I enjoyed the modernization of your first story. Unfortunately I think this sort of thing does happen sometimes. There were a lot of characters involved and sometimes I felt a little confused about who was who. Your second story was very creative. Having Hanuman write a letter to the people of Lanka was a unique idea I've never tried. I liked how sassy and cocky he was about everything. Although, he didn't really seem all that remorseful. His "better than you" attitude was very much in your face. I wish that you had made him focus a little more on a serious defense with subtle digs at the people. I did find it very humorous though, so I understand if you choose to leave it the way it is. Nice job with your project so far!
ReplyDeleteHi Kennedie!
ReplyDeleteYour portfolio looks so clean. Great style choices, and really easy to navigate.
I really enjoyed the retelling of The Foolish, Timid Rabbit! You created some really strong and tangible characters, and the setting choice was perfect for this kind of story. I also thought that the placement and choice of each image was just right and added quite a bit to the setting. The only real thing I would possibly change would be to add a bit of dialogue, especially in the part where Lion overhears Rabbit bragging about the fabricated incident. I'm imagining snippets of conversation peppered with "brah" and "dude," but that's just because I don't like Rabbit and that's how I picture him talking.
I really enjoyed the captioning of Dearest Lanka's image. That was kind of adorable. And your portrayal of Hanuman is delightful: equal parts care and mischief.
Well done! Looking forward to the rest!
Hi Kennedie! You probably don't recognize me, but I am from the mythology and folklore class.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your the two stories you have in your portfolio. For starters, I liked the modern twist you put on the Foolish, Timid Rabbit! It was easy to read and understand. I also liked that you kept the animal names as the characters in the modern twist to the original story. The images that you placed within your story also helped in the flow of it. While I do not see much change needing to occur in this story, but if you could add one thing, I would suggest some dialogue. Maybe you could include Rabbit trying to defend himself even after they caught him red handed, or somewhere else in your story.
I also liked your story about Lanka. Your approach to make it a letter was such a great idea, as well as the structured informal writing that you used.
Your two stories that you have are really great, keep up the good work!
Hey Kennedie, that doggo looks like he/she is having a fun time. I really enjoyed reading your stories and I really liked the story about the rabbit. I think it's definitely one of the funnest stories to read and tell because I myself feel like the rabbit where I can jump to conclusions at times without obtaining full information. The images seem like they fit really well with the story and they made it interesting to read as well.
ReplyDeleteHi Kennedie!
ReplyDeleteI am from Mythology and Folklore! I really enjoyed reading your portfolio and the two stories you have so far. Your story The Selfish Brazened Rabbit had a really nice modern twist to it and it was very easy to read! your characters were very strong and your use of descriptiveness was great! I really liked how you used pictures to break up the text. I agree with a few other comments that adding a little dialogue would add a whole new level to the story! Other than that, it's great!
I also really liked your story about Lanka. It was very humorous and again, I liked the modern twist you put on it. Your picture to break up the text was very nice again too!
Great Job!
Hey Kennedie! I really liked reading over your portfolio! Your website is clean, nice, and easy to navigate. This was a little different for me because most of the sites I am reading are storybooks, not portfolios. So it was a good change! Your story, The Selfish Brazen Rabbit was really interesting. I loved how you transformed the old tale into a high school experience story. The story flowed well and kept me reading until the end. I definitely agree with the others that adding dialogue would liven up the story and a little argument between Rabbit and Jaguar would add to the conflict between them. Your Hanuman story was really great too! You portrayed him to be chill and easygoing, and also a humble because he came forward and apologized in a letter form, which was unique! Good luck with the rest of your stories and I look forward to reading more of them soon!
ReplyDeleteKennedie, I enjoyed dreading your portfolio. It was laid out in a way that made for easy navigation. The titles of your stories are very eye grabbing, and made me want to click on them. The Selfish Brazen Rabbit was a fun story to read. It was very relate able putting the rabbit in a school setting. This helped with picturing the setting as well because most people remember exactly what their high school looked like. A very creative way to help this story reach everyone.
ReplyDeleteHello Kennedie, you have a great portfolio so far. I like how you included a link as well as a brief description of your stories on the homepage. This was a nice touch and made your site easy to navigate. I thought that both of your stories were really good. My favorite was your first story "The selfish Brazen Rabbit. This was also one of my favorite source materials to read as well. I thought that telling the story in a high school setting with a kid telling rumors was really creative. It is always interesting to see the many ways people can take stories. I was also impressed with how you were also able to keep the original message of the story intact.It was also really well written. Overall I was really impressed with how your project is coming along and am looking forward to how the finished project turns out.
ReplyDeleteHi Kennedie! You have a great website. I like explain each story on your homepage and then elaborate them in your author's notes for each story. Your first story really caught my attention because of the picture of the crashed car. I skimmed through a bit and thought it was funny when I read the part where the rabbit crashed it so I decided to read the whole thing. It was ironic how the lion was quiet and timid since they're known to be loud and fierce.The rabbit sounds like such a jerk! I'm glad he finally got in trouble.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you were able to retell the original story. It was kind of relatable since it was in a school setting. I was glad that the principal couldn't protect the Rabbit anymore. Was he protecting the rabbit though? I know the story talked about the teachers favoring. Either way, this was a good story and I really enjoyed reading it! I look forward to reading the rest of your portfolio!
Hello Kennedie! I want to start off by saying that your website looks great. It is very easy to navigate and everything flows really nicely and that makes reading your stories that much more enjoyable. The Foolish, Timid Rabbit was one of the first stories that I read and rewrote so I was intrigued by your take on the story (for the record, I like yours better than mine). I like that you were able to take the story and retell it in a setting that was a little bit more relatable for everyone in the class. Plus, everyone has had a run in with someone like this in high school. I also like that you decided to make the rabbit character the bad guy because that was what he seemed to be in the original story.
ReplyDeleteHey there Kennedie! I just got done reading over your project and looking at the layout of your page and really like the way it flows. It is really easy to use and the way the pages work from one to another is nicely done. I was just about to do a story over the Foolish Timid Rabbit as well and was really glad I got to read yours! It was a super fun read and had me giggling a little bit throughout the story. I still love how you are able to incorporate a high school experience into your story. It makes it so its not quite so old timey if you will. I would keep up that kind of writing if I was you. It seems like it works well for you and it is easy to write because we are pretty savvy with how high school works, Right?
ReplyDeleteHey Kennedie! I just finished up looking at your project and it is coming together nicely! I really like the design you have and how easy the site is to navigate. I also like how you have a description of each story. I think that I may want to incorporate that element into my portfolio as well.
ReplyDeleteI really like all of your stories especially "The Selfish, Brazen Rabbit". I like how you made it take place in a highschool and was overall impressed with the writing of your story. The only suggestion I have is to maybe add some background color and maybe some dialogue into your first two stories. I think dialogue is very powerful and can take a story to the next level and it helps bring the reader closer to the story. Overall, your project looks great and I am looking forward to coming back seeing the finished project! Keep up the good work!
FEEDBACK COMMENTS
ReplyDeleteHey Kennedie! I really like the design and layout of your website. I can clearly get a feel for the theme of your portfolio just by looking at your image selections and the titles of your different stories. I feel like you have done a good job at being cohesive with your stories so that as a whole your portfolio’s theme is clear. I really enjoyed reading all three of your stories. I really enjoyed reading “The Selfish, Brazen Rabbit.” I thought your story flowed really well, however I feel like if you incorporated some dialogue between your characters, it would give your story more dimensions and make it more interactive for the reader. Also, the dog on your comment wall is soo cute! Overall, I think you have done a great job so far on your portfolio and I can’t wait to see what type of story you add next!
Hi Kennedie,
ReplyDeleteI like how you set up your portfolio. It was easy to access. It also was a very simple and clean site. I really like how you put it together. I also thoroughly enjoyed your stories. I read all three and each one caught my eye in a different way. I liked the first one because I also wrote about it because I enjoyed this story. I like how you made it so relatable. We all know of that kid that was in our high school. I also enjoyed the second story because it was cute. I like how spunky you made the monkey. I related to the third story because my fiance loves archery and it reminded me of him as a kid. I thought you did a great job on your portfolio. I can't wait to read your last story. Thank you and have a good rest of the semester.
Hello again Kennedie!
ReplyDeleteIn Eager Ekalayva, the addition here since my last visit, you have supplied a much more cheerful ending than I remembered from our reading, and I am grateful. I was surprised that Drona became the amputee-er, but this does give Ekalayva a strong motivation to train up even harder, and gives the reader an even ickier antagonist.
I think the layout of the story is great. You have a good strong introduction and a satisfying ending. I would love to hear more of Ekalayva's thoughts though, especially near the end, as I was very curious to know what his thoughts were in the original story regarding his plight. Perhaps he could pass a message, moral, or ideal onto his tribe along with the distinctive bow-handling?
Also, and this is minor, but I would LOVE to see a picture of the Bhil Kingdom archers.
Thanks for a great portfolio and read! Happy (almost) summer break!
Hi Kennedie,
ReplyDeleteYour portfolio is looking awesome! You have really showed your talent as a writer. I really enjoyed your first story, "The Selfish, Brazen Rabbit." You made the story really different but still used it to teach a valuable lesson. I love how clever Lion was. She was kind and wanted to get to the truth of the situation. Have you considered maybe changing the names from animals to actual people names? I think this would add even more realism to your story without losing your connection to the original story. The second story, "Dearest Lanka," was so entertaining. I love how sassy Hanuman was in this story. It's an angle I hadn't thought of before. Of course Lanka would be a little annoyed that their town was annoyed, and sweet snarky Hanuman would give them a great reason why. It would be really funny to see if Lanka ever responds. Great work on all three of your stories!
Hey, Kennedie, I really liked that you chose to do a portfolio rather than a storybook. The storybooks are super fun and interesting but a portfolio is a nice change of pace because you get some variety from the different stories. I really enjoyed all of the stories in your portfolio. I especially enjoyed "Dearest Lanka." Your characterization of Hanuman was excellent. I was also very clever to write the story in the form of a letter to the people of Lanka. As far as feedback and suggestions go, I don't really have much because your stories are so well thought out. However, one thing I noticed is the absence of much dialogue. "Dearest Lanka" wouldn't benefit from this much since it is in letter form but the other stories could benefit from some back and forth from the characters. You do have some dialogue in "The Greatest Archer" that works really well and it would be great if you could add the same kind of thing to your other stories. Anyway, well done!
ReplyDeleteHi there, Kennedie!
ReplyDeleteLet me just say that I was in love with your page when I saw your story photo for "Taking Candy From A Baby." Such great memories tied to that little cartoon baby! As I went on to read your story, I was absolutely pumped to see that you stuck with the theme. I also love all of the dialogue you included in your story. I feel as though this makes your story easy to read and allows your reader to get a better understanding for your characters. I think you did a great job of explaining why you used the Rugrats for your story in your authors note. It was the perfect place to explain your reasoning and a little bit of your thought process behind it in order to avoid confusion.
I am so glad that I got around to reading your stories this semester. Thank you so, so much for sharing!
Interesting take on “The Foolish Timid Rabbit”. It had almost a Veronica Mars feel to it haha. I’d already enjoyed the story but the author’s note made a big difference in how I interpreted it. I like your reasons for changing it.
ReplyDelete“Dearest Lanka” was pretty cute. It made me chuckle, especially the “no one specifically told me I wasn’t allowed to be a spy” part haha
I wished you had explained what a Bhil was in the third story. It was a bit confusing! Again here your reasons for changing the story make a lot of sense so I’m glad you’ve included that in your author’s note.
I LOVE that you decided to use the Rugrats for your last story rewrite harsh very entertaining. I knew almost immediately what Jataka Tale you were inspired by. Well done!